Weekend Open Thread: Pumpkin Spiced Apocalypse Edition

H. Clay Aalders
Weekend Open Thread
·25 Comments··71 views

Brace Yourselves. Pumpkin Spiced Latte season is coming.

The horror.

How is everyone doing? Another Friday is upon us, and it is Weekend Open Thread time. I will try not to make you sick.

The whole thing baffles me, especially since the process of acquiring Pumkin Spice is so problematic.

You sick, sick, calloused person.

He hadn’t heard of the next big thing…

Better living through Chemistry.

Just don’t name the dog Kelsee, Keelee, or Kaydance.

Kitten Marrow is good for you.

Stop asking already.

Pumpkin Spiced Propane and Propane Accessories.

Pumpkin Spiced Knife Shows?

The USN Gathering is this weekend out in Vegas.

USN Gathering XIV

Next weekend there are two events.

Central States Hammer-In and Knife Show

Louisiana Knife Show

I think Mark might be at USN, but I am not sure. I know he was on his way out of town this morning.

Either way, he’s missing out on the memes…

They aren’t wrong…

…But Floridians aren’t impressed.

Hold my bacon.

R.I.P. Bob Barker. I hope you are spaying and neutering pets in heaven.

 

I didn’t watch the debate. I would rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon…

But the Mike Pence/Johnny Quest memes are great.

This sort of describes my personal political feelings right now…

It definitely counts as a “current event”, and this is evergreen…

I <3 the 216. It is a great place to have been from.

I also love to give away knives.

Right now we have Schrodinger’s knife winner. The Last Light Combo from Browning is both in my possession yet belongs to someone else. Because I have already drawn the winner, but have not announced it.

It is a sturdy, no-nonsense knife, with a firesteel and diamond/ceramic sharpening surfaces. Congrats to Dan Q. He is our lucky winner.

I don’t know what next week’s drawing will be for, but it will be a CRKT. I know that a package is on its way with a whole bunch of their older models that they are more than happy for us to adopt out out to loving, forever homes. Winner will definitely have a choice of at least a couple of different knives.

Usual rules apply. Up to 5 comments/replies are your entries, and if you are new to the blog, or do not have cookies on, your comments will be held in moderation until I can manually approve them. Good Luck, and I will let folks know what CRKT sends us during the week.

Until then, here is a heaping haul of random memes that I harvested under the light of the blue moon.

Better than a Rickroll.

…and your father smelt of Elderberry.

My wife assures me that is true. I have no idea what she is talking about.

With melted butter.

I think they are just on vacation.

SirPatStew has incredible range.

Sounds delicious.

Just Do It.

I have to give the “edge” to Theoden.

Exactly kid.

I should not have laughed at that. But I am laughing at the poor excuse for a Copy Editor, not at deaf people.

A never-ending school pickup line. What is your personal Heck?

The diner experience changed dramatically with bans on indoor smoking. And you can keep your bean-water.

My in-laws live with us. Would you believe that there are 4 non-Mormon, non-coffee drinking adults living in one household? 4 years of college, 3 years of firefighting, 6 years of camp staff, 2 anthropology/archaeology fieldwork expeditions and 2 years of grad school, and I have never cared for coffee. I am a Guinness and Laphroaig drinker, and take my tea unsweetened both hot or cold. So it isn’t like I don’t like strongly flavored or bitter things.

My F-I-L was a sergeant in the Air Force, worked the overnight shift stocking grocery shelves, and plowed snow. He doesn’t drink coffee, nor does my wife or M-I-L. What are the odds?

IPA’s have become a bit of a unit-measuring contest. I like hoppy beers, but it has gotten out of hand.  I would love to hear Jason K’s take on the subject since he owns Solera Brewery in Oregon.

Since I am singling out readers, how is it going Del?

If you have watched South Park, you will understand that. And find it at least amusing.

If you haven’t, visit this page and become enlightened, Eh?

two more for Del…

IIRC- you are a Vancouver fan, so you laugh at Toronto as well.

From one fisherman to another.

Meanwhile, in America…

Chaser…

Bringing America and Canada together, literally.

Pepperidge Farm Remembers…

As do I. You had to go the day before and pick up a wristband which randomly determined the start of the line. The current system is even worse from what I understand.

Definitely better.

We don’t deserve dogs.

Everyone has a price.

 

I laughed.

Flashback to last week…

Just seemed apropos.

Priorities…

To make it worse, the child was eaten by Aunt Linda…

This is true…

The worst was Zaxxon.

Now that is a mashup sequel that should have been made.

Still, better than a Rickroll.

And guess what?

You made it. I didn’t come across one this week.

I will leave you with our musical number…

Have a good Labor Day Weekend Comrades 😉

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H. Clay Aalders

H. Clay Aalders is a lifelong edged tool user. He spent the past 20 years as a woodworker and fishing guide in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Idaho, and Tennessee. While guiding in Idaho, Clay worked part-time writing for a local newspaper, and upon moving to Tennessee began writing for the blog The Truth About Knives - spending his last 5 years there as Managing Editor. His background is in fixed-blade hunting and bushcraft knives, but has jumped into the world of vintage slipjoint collecting with both feet since coming to work at Knife Magazine. Clay’s primary role is as Digital Editor, curating and creating new content for our website and blog, as well as maintaining the Knife Magazine social media accounts (FB/IG: @theknifemag, Twitter: @knifemagazine). He is also a contributor and Associate Editor of the print magazine.

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25 Responses

  1. Pingback: Weekend Open Thread: Wet Floury Goodness Edition – Knife Magazine

  2. back at work after three nights at coaster park. couple new ones, one refurb. mean streak is an huge old wooden that was basically a three minute kidney punching session. they replaced the original rails with some shmoovy borgborg ones, same ride no punishment. steel vengeance is a new wooden one that squeezes in between my 1st and second faves. amazing.
    according to mcsweeny’s internet tendency, “it’s decorative gourd season, mf’ers!”
    “there’s nothing we can do about the sun and we’re out of jolly ranchers…”
    slap yo mama spiced propane would be a real time saver.
    the cuyahoga area code has been in place since ’47 and will not need to be overlapped until 2035.
    “now go away or i shall taunt you a second time.”
    at least your wife thinks that you’re great. it’s always in the last drawer you look in.
    tranny fluid is now gender neutral shift juice. be kind to your tranny.
    i’d rather draw the drapes (amelia bedelia) than draw straws (“i want straws”).
    old chapstick had no flavor but pogo paste was minty.
    you never see braille for “do not touch.”
    heck: rhinelander beer, velveeta, 65% humidity and all janet renos.
    ’73 i’d play three songs for a quarter. stick tea.
    double ipa, triple ipa, imperial ipa- who’s going on these long voyages without refrigeration these days? enh, greeks add resin to make retsina, they got used to the flavor from sealing the rams bladder botas with it. west coast ipa, hazy ipa, new england ipa. i’ll take a pale ale or an imperial stout.
    the original halved head was little brother ike. “kick the baby!”
    sctv gave us a trove of canadia talent.
    we built a ramp into (?!?) sean brennan’s garage. genius. you just had to brake hard. he caught so much air he hit the lentel and peeled his scalp all the way back. pretty cool, didn’t bleed much. you can still make out all the stitches on the front and sides.
    i’m forgetting something about the columbo bit.
    aunt linda looks like “invasion of the saucer men.” mars attacks.
    only fast and furious had more sequels than death wish (maybe). but hard times with coburn and strother martin is pretty doggone good.

    Reply

  3. Ahoy, WOTters. Haven’t been very active here as of late. Life’s roller coaster has been hitting me pretty hard this year. Could go for a couple bars of that pumpkin spice Xanax. Still enjoy freshly harvested memes every week. I don’t do pumpkin beers and am burned out on the IPA space race (my hop allergy doesn’t help). My recycling bin is 90% Modelo. Hop harvest is happening here in the PNW. Waiting for the call from my farmer to make my annual pilgrimage and race the clock to make a fresh hop beer. No new knives in a while, still trying to find time stand at the grinder. Bronson Vs The Warriors is a film that I’d stand in line for. Have a great week!

    Reply

    1. Why, “Hello” . . . and “Ahoy”, Jason K. I think of you whenever I pull a “free IPA” from the ‘frig. (My son, Jake, gets cases of “soon to be expired” beers from the distributor he works for part-time). I sent you a photo of an “IPA” can that listed “PNW” hops as an ingredient. Yes, it has been a while. Last time that you shared with us, you were having shoulder surgery. How did that go?

      Re “Bronson & The Warriors”, I think that “Charlie” would unite with the “Coney Island” guys

      Again, good to know you are alive and kicking!

      Reply

      1. Hockey, glad you’re getting a little free beer. Out of the last 28 years I worked once outside the brewing industry. I made wine for a hot minute. That was 24 years ago and I was shocked at how much I had to spend on beer, I drank much wine then. Healed up from shoulder surgery, herniated disc is tolerable, at present I’m nursing a fractured wrist. I appreciate the occasional Hocky pic in an email, even though I might forget to respond. Hope all is well in Hagerstown.

        Reply

        1. Hell’s bells, Jason. Sounds like you need more calcium to strengthen the bones!Is beer a good source of Ca? “Hagerstown” is in a heat dome. I got to get out early to tend to garden . . . Cooler weather moving through on Thursday. The old Appalachians tend to protect us from extreme weather. On the knife front, the “Moran Foundation” has an exhibit this Saturday in Frederick, MD. I am helping out . . . selfish reasons; The exhibit is in front of “Edgeworks”, my favorite brick’n’mortar knife store. Friday and Saturday, September 15-16, I have a table at the “Mason Dixon Knife Club” show near Williamsport, MD. The peddler bag is bulging . . . Looking ahead to October 21st, “8th Annual All-Forged Knife Show” at the “Moran Foundation”.

          Take care of yourself. I will drop you a knife photo . . . Hocky

          Reply

    2. i think i’m sensitive to hops as well, eyes itch, maybe a sneeze. i think especial is the best selling import now! i so much prefer the negra, like dark viennese lager. most popular style in europe until the czechs did that pilsener thing. game over.
      do they calla alprazolam “bars” everywhere? i seem to remember it being a smoking cessation aid way back when.

      Reply

      1. Not sure your pharmacist would call them bars, unless your pharmacist works out of Dead show parking lots. You might be thinking of Wellbutrin regarding the smoking cessation, what a fantastic side effect. Czech pilsner is THE definition of beer. Game over indeed. I’ve been beating the drum about hop allergies for awhile. I think a lot of folk think the head thumper comes entirely from alcohol. Whether drinking or brewing hop forward beers I get a swollen throat, runny nose, cough and a thumper. Negra is a good beer for sure, but I’m an Especial man. I also prefer slip joints over switchblades.

        Reply

        1. Jason – welcome back. I also have an allergy for hoppy beer: makes me say stupid shit, stagger around blindly, chase tail (unsuccessfully), all followed by hangovers and self loathing and regret. Cant get enough

          Reply

          1. Nothing like a cold pint of regret, depression and self-loathing. Occasionally waking to find out you found the liquid courage to purchase that knife the night before.

        2. My first beer was a “Schlitz”. Sitting in the “Security Tavern” with my Dad . . . I was “16”. I have always been fond of a lager with a good head. Before “Got Milk”, that white foam on the upper lip was manly.

          Reply

        3. Ah, “Slipjoints” . . . with or without “nail nicks”, they will always be the venerable pocketknife! (Note: During my Euro-rail tour in 1978, I enjoyed many varieties of beer in West Germany and Holland. I liked pilsners quite a bit.)

          Reply

          1. Sophomore year of college-Spring of ‘77- I spent a semester in Rome. We traveled all over Europe. My favorite beer was at the Hofbrau House in Munich. First time I was there the very attractive waitress with the oh so alluring accent called their “blonde beer es Munich-pilsner”. I was 19. I could have easily fallen for that fair maid! Served in liter sized glass mugs. Best beer I’ve ever had.. I stopped there more than once. Alas, I never saw her after that first night.

            Thanks for triggering that memory, Hocky!

  4. Allow me to ,belatedly, welcome Matt, Bryan and Rick to WOT! And congratulations Dan Q on your new sharp!

    I reviewed the news page this morning, and I noticed that the featured SOG Ether FX was decidedly pumpkin colored. Coincidence or planned?

    We had rain yesterday for the first time in nearly 2 months. It still hit 100, and is heading north of that today. It’s Labor Day, but still nowhere close to feeling like Fall in north Texas. Great weather for grilling! I hope you all have a great day!

    Reply

  6. It is definitely “Han Solo” season! Over 90 degrees here yesterday, but almost as if there is a weird “switch” in suburban white girl brains, I saw an entire bus load of “pumpkin spice addicted persons” (PSAPs for short) descend upon a hapless Dunkin Donuts inside a Pilot Truck Stop in Indiana. All dressed in their uniforms, those insulated vests, yoga pants, long sleeves, and knee-high boots, had to be ungodly hot. But you have to respect their commitment to individuality and “diversity”.

    They proceeded to surround the DD en masse in a swarm attack, driving all the other customers from the store in panic and confusion. Once they had isolated, surrounded, and secured the DD, they splintered off squad size elements to recon and secure any other PS assets in the area.

    It was at this point in the ambush where the initial shock of contact was over. Confusion and chaos now reigned supreme.

    And out of the chaos a sense of calm and purpose came over me.

    It had been a minute. While I am in excellent shape for 56 and still in better shape than most of the young bucks serving in the unit, this is a young man’s game. But seeing as no one else was stepping up and I was concerned for the safety of the other patrons, I made peace with my maker, and swung into action.

    From years of training and experience I knew that there would be quantities of Pumpkin Spice materials in the storerooms that the PSAPs had not gotten to yet. Seizing the initiative, I secured the help of one of the village elders I had previously developed as an indig asset to lead me to the PS cache. From there, with the help of a few villagers and village elders, we secured the cache and I left with two cases of Pumpkin Spice Creamers. My training kicked in and I stealthily made my way around the perimeter of the compound to the doors leading outside, and to their troop transport.

    I proceeded to seed the area around the entrance with Coffee Mate Pumpkin Spice Creme Cups in order to draw fire away from the DD and toward their infil point. Taking inspiration from my initiative, two of the villagers started seeding the aisles between the entrance and DD through the Pilot Truck Stop with disposable PS creemers in much the same way that toe poppers and anti personnel mines were used by insurgents in the sand box to isolate and redirect troop movements. I had made it to their transports and was in the process of seeding the area with Creemers when my activity drew out the commanding officer from the lead vehicle.

    5′ 3″ and 300lb…she was quite a sight. Her knee high polished black pleather boots gleamed in the sun, her white yoga pant clad legs and butt looked for all the world like cottage cheese wrapped in Saran Wrap. Her Karen haircut with pumpkin colored highlights, and Pumpkin Spice themed makeup and nails instantly identified her as a senior Warlord. Unusual to see leadership outside of their secure compounds. After having previously established comms with the locals, I coordinated with the village elders to secure 36 pumpkin spice cake donuts that had been in the ovens when the attack started. at great risk to themselves two of the villagers snuck them out of the compound and to my concealed location out on the perimeter. Our plan was to distract “Karen” with Creemers and draw her away from the transports and into a more exposed position where we could isolate her and attack with the donuts.

    It worked to perfection….Once most of the PS assets were removed from the Pilot their troops started following the trail of Creemers out the door and straight towards their exfil point and transport. Waiting until most of them had gathered around the Transports and Karen, we struck. The villagers started throwing pumpkin spice creemers at their perimeter drawing the troops attention away from “Karen” and leaving her exposed in their midst. At this point I threw the 3 dozen Pumpkin Spice Cake Donuts at her feet and ran…

    What happened next was glorious….

    Karen found herself standing in the middle of her battle frenzied cohort covered with and surrounded by fresh from the oven Pumpkin Spice Donuts. There was steam rising from their shattered remains. The aroma was overwhelming and cut through the chaos like a siren. The rest I will spare you the details…Despite desperate orders to stand down, her entire troop in their frenzied state turned their attention to her.

    When all was said and done there wasn’t much but a few scraps of bloody yoga pants and goose down left to mark where she had once stood. With Karen gone many of her troops woke from their PS induced spell and hysteria. Covered in Pumpkin spice, blood, and guts, they were horrified by what they had done.

    It was a good day.

    Reply

    1. Rick, that was inspired! Clay had better just hand you over all the CRKTs. What a great read on a Saturday morning, Cheers

      Reply

        1. Hey Del: What was that “Remington” pattern you were looking for a while ago? Regarding the “Kozlowski” story, Fact? or Fiction? I agree with you that it was entertaining. Highly descriptive in nature.

          I hope that the smoke has cleared in Kamloops and your fishing has been superb!

          Reply

    2. I believe that “Rick Kozlowski” is a writer. He uses punctuation and has sentence structure. The story line flows with paragraphs indicating changes in the action. “Rick” shows an affinity for military terminology, e.g. squad, recon, PS assets, young bucks, swarm attack.

      He definitely shows a fertile imagination. His descriptive phrases, “. . . 5′ 3″, 300lbs . . . . her knee-high polished black pleather boots . . . cottage cheese wrapped in Saran Wrap” has an Edgar A. Poe and Dale Carnegie influence. I can envision this “Warlord” leading her minions to the “Dunkin’s”.

      The zombie finale was graphic. The “PSAPs” woke-up and were horrified.

      Welcome to the “WOT”, Rick Kozlowski. Most of us regular “WOTers” know a bit about each other. Care to share your knife interests, geographical location, military service?

      “Hocky” (aka Ricky Alan Hockensmith; Lifetime Member of the “William F. Moran Museum and Foundation”; hometown: Hagerstown, Maryland; Veteran, U.S. Navy Submarine Service)

      Reply

      1. Reminded me of the gonzo reporting of the “Marina Del Rey annual Poodle shoot and BBQ”, you’ll have to google it, there seem to be various versions. As I lived there when I first came to the US it held a special place in my heart, and yes, there were a lot of poodles there!

        Reply

  7. Another case of Northern Exposure, Taylor who??

    Doing well Clay, few days until I get some Dungeness, what are those Mark Z asked. He might find out next year and even be in the Tyee club?

    My favorite player was Tiger Williams, he played for Toronto and Vancouver. Even scored a few goals, especially when on a line with Pavel Bure!

    Another great batch of memes. have never tried the pumpkin spice.

    You just have to post Uncle Buck’s photo to crack me up, will see if we can mail a couple jars of smoked salmon before Christmas, likely Coho!

    Have a great weekend everyone!

    Reply

  8. I love me some pumpkin pie. That said, I’m soooooooooo over everything else pumpkin spice. And if this were the 90’s you know there would be a orange skinned lead singer named Pumpkin Spice as lead singer of the Spice Girls.

    Reply

  9. Knifemagazine always brings a smile to my face while simultaneously bringing back memories of college in Ohio, beers with Clay, and the random knives security would remove from my room during surprise fire inspections whenever I was out. But then, because it was Ohio, they’d always mail them to my home address when I asked them to. And then I smile a second time.

    Reply

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