Weekend Open Thread: Government Windfall Edition

H. Clay Aalders
Weekend Open Thread
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Howdy Folks. Welcome to the one and only KNIFE Magazine Weekend Open Thread. It is good for what ales you. The Mega Millions meme above has been the topical viral meme of the week. It is everywhere on my feeds. That and variations on this Tiger/John Daly photo…

These two I understand. The Teacher one reminds me of elementary school in the early 80s and the cloud of smoke that would billow forth from the Teacher’s Lounge every time the door opened.

I am not even sure what to make of this one…

Since that one leaves me more or less speechless, lets get on with our Event Calendar update. This weekend there is a show in my neck of the woods…

https://www.knifemagazine.com/event/cumberland-county-knife-gun-show-with-col-coon-collectors-2022-08-06/

Since we are talking about the calendar…

I am ready. Kids went back to school today, I am tired of 90s and humid, and lacrosse is about to kick off.

My team left our previous organization (County Rec Dept.) and struck out on our own. We have partnered with a boy’s middle school team with plans for both teams to develop into a formal feeder program for Knoxville Catholic High School. But more than half my girls are public school, though that will change over time, and we will always be open to anyone.  I made our homepage last Saturday.Former KNIFE Magazine Graphic Designer Lisa B. actually designed the logos. She still helps out the magazine on some technical stuff, and remains a good friend.

So yeah. I am ready for fall.

Yeah. Still am.

It isn’t that bad, except your power steering fluid turns to pudding. And it beats this…

Actually the mosquitos are pretty bad in Montana too.

One of the more creative uses of that meme template.

I am trying to imagine intubating a tiger. It isn’t pretty.

That isn’t pretty either.

 

Too soon?

 

It is never too soon to do our weekly drawing.  Jason K gets our second swag pile, representing the last of the Blade Show giveaways.

Moving on to the next, we have a Work Sharp MK 2 Sharpener to give away, courtesy of Work Sharp.

They sent us several last year, and we gave one away back then, but there are still a couple on the shelf. It will be a “Token” drawing, meaning that you need to be drawn twice to win. Usual rules apply – up to 5 comments or replies count as your entries, and your first draw wins you a “token”. First person to grab a second token is the winner.

And now, on with our show…

Sounds less gross than an actual White Claw.

Sod off you ghoul.

And don’t call me Shirley.

but that would be redundant.

Speaking of toilet humor…

Ahhh, to be a kid.

Yeah, but…

 

She doesn’t approve of my purchases either.

And she is not alone…

My family is savage.

This is pretty savage too.

 

Stick with bagpipes.

Can’t argue with his logic.

The more you know.

 

 

Never make fun of the cargo shorts. I won;t let you have any sandwich.

Not actually my wife. More like something my daughter would do.

She is not this bad though.

I’m not going to make it if I don’t head to bed.

Because the work is never done.

Have a good one all…

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H. Clay Aalders

H. Clay Aalders is a lifelong edged tool user. He spent the past 20 years as a woodworker and fishing guide in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Idaho, and Tennessee. While guiding in Idaho, Clay worked part-time writing for a local newspaper, and upon moving to Tennessee began writing for the blog The Truth About Knives - spending his last 5 years there as Managing Editor. His background is in fixed-blade hunting and bushcraft knives, but has jumped into the world of vintage slipjoint collecting with both feet since coming to work at Knife Magazine. Clay’s primary role is as Digital Editor, curating and creating new content for our website and blog, as well as maintaining the Knife Magazine social media accounts (FB/IG: @theknifemag, Twitter: @knifemagazine). He is also a contributor and Associate Editor of the print magazine.

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15 Responses

  1. paling in comparison to carrying lunch at work, there was a kid who hung out in the now shuttered hollywood tavern on bryn mawr. northpark university kids would attract attention from glenn, who would stare at them creepily and say things like, “i can smell the worms in your nose.” he’d then casually pull a half eaten sandwich wrapped in wax paper from atop his shoulder under his shirt, take a bite and return it for later.

    Reply

  2. those injuns are too tense.
    we had to carry a certain minimum of ppe while running meter routes (eyepro, dog spray, hi vis vest, dopey ass totes’brella for canine encounters) so i adapted the cargo pocket thing… never looked back. at least eleven items pocketed daily, plus the crap on the carabiner and the iwb. on particularly long jaunts (my book had 14k+ yards per month) i would pocket lunch for later. calories were good back then.

    Reply

  5. As someone who has been a fan of Clay’s memes long before it was cool, I feel this is his most important work to date. From start to finish this weekend addition takes they reader on a laugh fueled journey across the internet. Each meme better than the last. It’s been said that following this WOT masterpiece can only result in complete failure. Tune in next week to find out!

    Reply

    1. Jason,
      First, congrats on the bling
      Did you ever get the Gail (my word not yours) fixed blade and pocket clip sheath
      And doi recall correctly that you’re a fan of Prison Blues overalls?

      Reply

      1. I think I did. I’ve tried a few configurations, but the one I carry most is a LT Wright Maverick Colt in gorgeous brown dyed bone, paired with a clipped pocket sheath from JRE (made for DCA’s Nordsmith). Perfect fit for knife and pocket and a perfect companion to both bibs and prison blues (which I had to peel off today after living in them on the river for the last 3 days).

        Reply

  6. Taking home $433.7 Million is still not too shabby, but that is sure a lot of tax! Congrats to Jason for getting drawn for the bling!

    Lisa did a terrific job on that logo Clay!

    Reply

  7. John Daly & Tiger, too funny. And then you have the “Tiger”!!!!

    Cargo shorts and pulled pork, exactly the kind of Saturday I’m going to have. “Hot Nite In The City” is on with a huge car show happening on our main downtown street, a few blocks down toward the river and it is “Ribfest” time. Vendors from all over make some awesome barbecue, compete for some bling as well. I can never get enough of the barbeque beef ribs!

    Hope everyone is having a great weekend, just got back from a few days camping and fishing. Well, I guess the motorhome we rented was not really camping? Fly-fishing was great, with some nice trout up to a couple pounds!

    Reply

  8. After this weeks use of the “Flying Ginsu” R9X multi-blade flying knife rocket against Al Zawahri, I had thought the memes would be more drone focused. Still the mortar bike came close.
    So, what steel for slicing drone munitions? R2D2, Eliminax, Maximethisend?

    Reply

    1. You forget that government equipment is low bid! I doubt we’d pony up for some designer steel. I’m thinking spent uranium. . Government has a bunch already, and we’ve used it to punch through tank armor. Kia roofs and concrete wouldn’t stop it!
      Coming in at mach one plus, the blades wouldn’t need to be all that sharp or even hold an edge to slice and dice.

      Reply

  9. Big Bird and Yoda both cracked me up. Redundant made me groan and smile!
    Clay-tired of 90’s?.. I’d be thrilled with them! We’ve been in the hundreds for 3 weeks plus straight. And for a month before that! Interspersed with one 99 day in between! No rain in months.. Outside, brown is the new green!!
    We’re starting to pray for a hurricane! (Historically it’s a tropical system that breaks these things).
    Whoever invented cargo shorts deserves the Nobel prize…..and a pulled pork sandwich.
    Ty to stay cool everyone.

    Reply

  10. I wear cargo shorts. Additionally, I wear painter’s pants; and, sometimes I wear bib overalls. MORE POCKETS!!! Now, let’s talk “belt loops” on any type of apparel. To fully support my array of “tools” EDC’d on my belt, I require a sufficient quantity of well-constructed belt loops. My full-grain leather belt is 1.25 inches wide; thus, I need belt loops to accommodate that width. I require a minimum of seven “loops”. My ‘Wrangler” cargo shorts meet this criteria as does my “Cabela” cargo’s that are notable for having “2 inch long” loops in the front. In the denim department, my “Levi 505” and some of my vintage “Wrangler” meet the seven-loop minimum.

    Saturday morning with Maxwell House . . . “Farts-Humper” and “Big Bird”. Laughing in my empty mug.

    Reply

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