Weekend Open Thread: I’ve got 99 Problems but E.T. ain’t one edition

H. Clay Aalders
Weekend Open Thread
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Greetings Earthlings and welcome to the KNIFE Magazine Weekend Open Thread, where we gather together to laugh our way through the coming Alien Apocalypse.

Not that people seem to care.

This sums up the apathy…

Probably because no one knows who to believe anymore.

 

All I know is this…

And his cousin…

You can trust the government can’t you?

It isn’t like they would mislead you…

Nothing to see here.

You can’t handle the truth.

Truth is, there aren’t any knife shows this weekend, at least according to the KNIFE Magazine Event Calendar.

Next ones aren’t until August 11-12 (despite what the embed displays…)

There is also the Natural State Knife Show, but our link wasn’t working.

Use this: https://www.naturalstateknifeshow.com/

Idaho Traditional and Tactical Knife Show

But not back in the stills.

Balmy.

The Bard knew how to woo a woman…

I’m not saying it is hot, but…

We try to stay mostly apolitical here at the WOT,  and we are glad that it appears that Senator McConnell, or as the memeaverse knows him, Cocaine Mitch is doing better following a medical episode this week.

We are happy he is doing better now. That said, a conversation about mandatory retirement for politicians who are incapable of conducting their jobs (of either party) is probably in order ( *coughs in Pennsyltucky Shrek).

A good meme is a good meme, and punching up is fair-play.

Besides, I am not sure he can even name this famous band.

The correct answer is: Del, Stuart, Hocky, and Mark. Or were those the Gospels? Or the infield for the 1974 Tigers? A K-Pop Band?

Whatever the case, Mark R. joins the cadre of “Token Holders”, who are halfway to winning an Ocaso Knives Strategy. This is a “Two Token” drawing, meaning you have to be drawn twice to win. First tokens carry over to the drawing for the second knife.

Usual rules apply…you get up to 5 entries per week which are your comments and replies. If you are new to the blog, your first comments will be held in moderation until I approve them. After that you will be good to go. Congrats Gentlemen, and good luck to all.

Ahhh.  Such great memories. I last played with a real set in about 2005 at a friend’s in Idaho.

That shouldn’t stop you. Believe in yourself.

Found On Road Dead or Fix Or Repair Daily

The Dollar Store version.

Start them young.

Or someone said “Bring me the head of Jabba”.

Might as well make the best of it.

Photoscape is a free one I use.

I think Elon will land on his feet.

Unless he had to face Nolan Ryan. Then he’d land on the bench.

 

He was probably distracted looking at his mirrors…

I’m this American…

Breakfast of Champions.

That was my guiding breakfast for years, with maybe a McMuffin if I were running ahead of schedule.

Lunch of Champions…

Probably thinking of a few dudes too tbh.

Savage…

Speaking of The Rock…

Don’t do it…

Also don’t do it…

Amazing that alcohol was not involved.

 

He might have broken his ankle.

Nope.

Yup…

Good parents teach their children science…

Earworm…

Earworm deux…

I would be offending the Ancient Memelords were I to skip the Rickroll.

This week’s random musical selection…

One of the most underrated bands ever.

DnD Deep Thoughts…

That broke my brain. So I am going to wind things up…

Stay Fresh, Cheese-bags.

(that totally would have been my 14yo catch phrase)

Have a good one all.

 

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H. Clay Aalders

H. Clay Aalders is a lifelong edged tool user. He spent the past 20 years as a woodworker and fishing guide in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Idaho, and Tennessee. While guiding in Idaho, Clay worked part-time writing for a local newspaper, and upon moving to Tennessee began writing for the blog The Truth About Knives - spending his last 5 years there as Managing Editor. His background is in fixed-blade hunting and bushcraft knives, but has jumped into the world of vintage slipjoint collecting with both feet since coming to work at Knife Magazine. Clay’s primary role is as Digital Editor, curating and creating new content for our website and blog, as well as maintaining the Knife Magazine social media accounts (FB/IG: @theknifemag, Twitter: @knifemagazine). He is also a contributor and Associate Editor of the print magazine.

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34 Responses

  1. “Friday the 4th” for the “5th Comment” to complete my entries into the “Knife” Random Number Generator (RNG) for a chance at the “Strategy”: I bought a 5-gal bucket of “rusty tools” at a pawn shop on Thursday for $3. The attraction was the wood-handled hammer and a wood-handled hatchet. A few “Rigid”** pipe-wrenches, too. I get home and lay out the hardware. Pipe wrenches go in a tub for an oil soak. The hammer is a “Craftsman” framing hammer and it cleaned up nicely with “OOOO” steel wool and 3-in-One. Now, the hatchet turns out to be a “Collins Red Seal”, hickory-handled stamped “Hudson”. It cleaned up real nice, too. Historical note: “Collins” operated in Canton, CT for about 140 years (1826-1966). They improved the “Hudson Bay” axe/hatchet head by forming the “eye” like a teardrop versus the European round hole. Evidently, the “Collins” brothers discovered that when “wiggling” an axe head out of a log that a “round eye-hole” would allow the shaft to deform and create a space . . . thus, loose shaft.
    **Pipe-wrenches are used for twisting hot steel. Some knife makers weld two of them together for more torque.
    I added a knife to my peddler’s bag: Kershaw “Clash” 1605. Okay, it’s Chinatown in 8Cr13MoV; but, for $10 . . . I should have a full table of knives at the “Mason Dixon Knife Club” show on September 15-16 at the Red Men Club, Williamsport, MD.
    That’s it, “WOTers”. Spin that “RNG”!!!

    Reply

  2. My commentary is in reply to “StuartB”; “Del” and “CMEAT” re “EV”, motorcycles and knives as follows: “EV” technology, especially with the batteries they use and how they are “charged”, is a primary issue with me. My wife’s 1st Prius was a new ’08. I was skeptical. I read all the Toyota manuals on the technology, e.g. regenerative braking system, 8-year expected life expectancy, etc. In 2012, reckless driver ‘totaled’ the ’08 in a T-bone. (Wife was okay but shook up). Bought her a new 2012 and she still drives it (Just turned 60K miles . . .). I want her to trade it in for this generation Prius. So, I read about today’s “EVs” and I do not see any mention of “regenerative braking to charge the batteries” while on the go . . . just “limited range, e.g. 300 miles to the next 12VDC charging station. So, I will drive my 5.4 Triton, 4×4, King cab, F150 with its 24-gal fuel tank for a while longer.

    Motorcycles are not my thing. I respect folks who ride them and look out for them when I am driving. My non-motorized mode of transportation is my “Rockhopper”. Pedal Power!!!

    “WOT”-meme: “Gravity” . . . My older brother ONCE tossed my first-born son “in the air” when he was about 6 months old. Tossed him into the ceiling fan. Son was okay. Ceiling fan was damaged; and, “older brother” incurred wrath of my wife. Still active issue at present time. (My oldest son is now 36 years old, a Yale Law graduate and lives in Waco, TX . . .)

    Oh, knives . . . “vintage” Cold Steel is tough stuff. Congrats STUARTB on the “SRK-Compact”. Will look up “SK-5” steel (not familiar with it). I like “In Knives We Trust”.

    It’s Thursday and that’s “4 Comments” for Hocky. I got one more before the “Strategy” drawing.

    Reply

    1. Gee Hocky, did your older brother have to cut his own switch?

      So happy your son was okay, a Yale Law graduate, so cool!

      Reply

  3. It is now Tuesday, August 1st and nobody has commented on “Alf” . . .

    My “Wot”-meme comment for today is on “FORD”. I am thinking about buying the “Maverick”. I like my ’08 F150; however, a hybrid pick-up has merit. My wife’s Prius and “Maverick” could “Mate-us” and create an “EV-CAMINO” . . . OOPs, that’s a Chevy. FORD + TOYOTA = ?????? . . . Hmmm-mm-mm . . . “Ranchero” as a hybrid . . . (mash up . . . ) “Mork + Alf = “Morkalf” add some Vulcan = “Morkalfspock”; and, a Klingon . . . “Morkalfspockworf”, needs some work; Starting to sound like a Scandinavian or German knife.

    Got a BENCHMADE “Mini-Infidel” at seldom-visited pawnshop on Monday. It has significant upside on trade or re-sell. Not NIB, but had the Cordura sheath. On a non-knife note, at another pawnshop, I got an Estwing “Big Blue” 22-oz Mason/Brick hammer for $10. Had to have it because I will be doing some patio-work this fall. My wife told me, “Do something with those pallets of bricks . . . and please quit moving boulders around the yard. Now that you have POWER in your work shed, when will you redo the kitchen and first floor? You did not sharpen my kitchen knives and I cut my finger.” Almost a happy wife. Enjoying the knife life . . . going outside.

    Reply

    1. alien life form, he made a small splash pop celebrity wise, has some staying power. the recent .giv claims strike me as a distraction from doj and big guy shenanigans.
      i’d have to go top tier maverick to get a non- hybrid, i consider the technology a ridiculous hoax, but i’ll steer clear of unibody as long as i can. caused a guest at a yard party to leave because he kept bragging about his ridgeline “truck” which i repeatedly disputed. he gave up.
      “have you ever made your wife mad? i should probably just ask, ‘are you married?'” -babylon bee

      Reply

      1. I used to camp with a mate in his Ridgeline. It was a very nice ride and hauled a bunch of stuff. Not the same style/use as a framed truck, but very well mannered.
        Cradle to grave energy costs for vehicles still favor simple gas engines, IMHO. The gas component of the total energy equation is not so large compared to construction and recycling/disposal. Buying and dumping a new EV every 3 years is about virtue over science, but maybe solid state batteries or RBRBs (really big rubber bands) will win out in the end.

        Reply

        1. You nailed it Stuart, no doubt rubber bands are the only reasonable method for keeping our flying cars in the air!

          I have not heard anything about where all this electricity is coming from once we all go to electric cars and heating methods? The power outages now are quite regular, and the cost once we are all dependent will be mind boggling.

          here in B.C. they have a grant around $1,000. for electric bicycles costing $2,000. or more. The grant is related to your income and will benefit a ton of consumers.

          The catch is the Govt. has a waiting list on the website to qualify, they explain that just because you are on the waiting list don’t expect this means you will get a bike?

          A waiting list to get on a waiting list, that never materializes in an application? Hmm – AI at it’s finest!

          Reply

          1. Then when you get your Ebike, it catches fire and burns your house down! Ideal.

            Bringing this back to knives ….. I just picked up a Cold Steel SRK Compact this week; 5″ blade in SK-5 steel with FDE color handle. Dandy knife, not too clunky and just over $30, very dependable as a camp knife. In knives we trust, its just the rest of the world around us that I am a bit icky over, and for that we have Clay’s memes.

        2. Cold Steel Survival Rescue Knife, great looking knife, what thickness is the blade, must be around1/4 inch? Have sold a few of the San Mai models for a friend, really like the Kukri and would have loved to keep it, but man it was a pricey knife.

          The SRK looks like it would make a great camp knife, good whacker for poles and kindling I imagine.

          Reply

          1. Mine is the compact, so 5″ blade vs 6″ and the spine is about 4mm. So lighter weight and easier to tote than a full size, but its a looker and seems a very useful size. The only issue I have is the coating on the carbon blade, I prefer to deal with the exposed steel and see it patina in style.

  4. comments section is wierd, puts newest post at the top. should i reply to someone randomly? i feel like a stake jumper.
    the pyramid image is delightful.
    i remember 60min (vomit) doing a segment on the guy who’s daughter caught a jart from over the fence in the fontanel. he lobbied for crazy years (nine? more?) until they legislated them off the shelves. i’ve got three on my front stoop and found a well preserved set at a garage sale that i gave to a friend who’d been looking for years.
    a similar fate befell bucky balls, very cool neodymium spheres that would find each other in toddlers intestines and cause undetectable infections. they’re stuck to stuff all over my house, wish i could find more.
    that coke needs a church key. i’ve still got some. an “e-z ope” and a swingy one that says westinghouse.
    before girls drank mateus i remember a baby food eating phase, jr. high maybe. when my first was born i thought these are cheap (.25 cents a jar)! raising a kid’s not gonna cost that much. hahahaha. love that flaming baby skull.
    i was broke down in georgia the first time i tried gator tail. can recommend.
    “no, no, this is ipswich.” “a palindrome of bolton would be notlob. it don’t work!” looks like musk’s twat is pining for the fjords.
    if sam elliott was my liver and kidneys i’d be very concerned.
    billy joe macallister brings me to choctaw bingo ridge.
    utoob choctaw bingo if you’ve never heard it. stream of conciousness okie/ arki/ kansas family reunion song kicks ass. james mcmurtree.

    Reply

  6. Good scoop at the yard sale Hocky, struck out at the one I went to. It was featured as an “Estate Sale – Everything Must Go”. Got there so early, but everything was basically already gone. Great day anyway, my wife and I went for a beautiful ride on the Harley!

    Do you ride or have ever owned a motorcycle? Bought my first at 13 years old, 441 Victor Special BSA. Was a off highway but highway legal. Even had a decompression lever. Leaked so much oil though.

    Reply

    1. always admired the road version of that 441 known as shooting star. i have a friend who’s off the deep end into them. once he started listing the necessary upgrades my desire waned. kickstarter gears for one…

      Reply

      1. I thought you might have some insight into these, we rode them on the highway even though we were all under 15 years old. This BSA was a beast of a machine, you needed to be a wrench to own one though, a two hour ride was a quart of oil, basically leaked all over my rear tire. The things you get away with when you are young. The next bike was 450 Honda that got fully chopped, 8 inch extended forks, the most beautiful purple paint job.

        Those friends I rode with before this bike had Triumphs, the Honda just didn’t do it for me. A friend drove me down to Vancouver where a shiny new Bonneville sat in a crate. The dealer said come back in a couple hours and we will have it ready for a test ride. So we left for a while.

        Actually never came back, my friend bugged me until I finally agreed to go look at some import that everyone was talking about – Z1 Kawasaki. I said no, no, no, not that junk!!! I wanted a ride! At the Kawasaki dealership the salesman said to go for a test ride just for fun, reluctantly I agreed. The dealer was on a 750 Triple, I was on the 903 Z1. He headed down Main Street in Vancouver and within a city block we were doing 80 MPH. I landed back at the dealership with the biggest grin and immediately signed the ownership papers. It was a rocket, had it up to 143 MPH once, air and conditions must have been right, never came near that speed again? Probably a good thing, I remember thinking….One rock and it’s over, I had very little control, was expecting a tank slapper! 🙂 Fast forward to testing MCs for a motorcycle mag I wrote for; Right out of the box we could test a Suzuki Hyabusa that did 180 MPH stock, too much for me! I did take Triumph triple to the high numbers though!

        Reply

        1. careful, starting to sound like a fanny pack review…
          motorcycle journalism, you mentioned knowing buzz buzzelli, tragic loss. he married lisa, the sister of a kid that worked for me at kawi for ten years.
          i lusted after brit iron for years, never pulled the trigger, the more i rode next to them the less enamored i became. after a string of rising sun stuff i fell hard to old bevel drive (cams) ducks and guzzi shafties.
          you’re 450 brown bomber has held some interest. that kawi triple the dealer rode is hard to source parts for, very valuable with intact crank seals. ditto any z1 based lineage (there was a z2 750 japan only) like yours. old bike shops had the best stories.
          sharpened a friends (he must cut rocks with this thing) chicom stainless kershaw 3/ 4 ton. changed it to 19 degrees (why don’t qwerty boards have a symbol for that? some times i use ~ but…) now it howls. he will blunt it in a few months. he works at soldier field, i can’t imagine.
          another bud ordered an l.t.wright mini muck or muckmuck or something and a kershaw bali song. anxious to see those. he really wants a benchmade but not for over $600.

          Reply

          1. I was at a motorcycle museum and bought a model of what I thought was a 900, once home I saw it was a 750, thought it was a mistake until I did some research.

            Buzz Buzzelli wrote the greatest motorcycle editorial ever, he detailed the distinction between being a “rider” or “biker” after being in a long lineup for gas in Barstow after a motorcycle event in Las Vegas.

            A Ducati is on my bucket list for a test ride, are they really that good???

          2. taglioni’s original bevel twins and singles were very responsive and a bit faster than the spec numbers would suggest. useable torque to weight/ ideal gear ratios allowed this, superb frame stiffness and powerful brakes were ahead of the game. suspension was taut and jarring, better suited for smooth alpine roads than frost heaves and pot holes. like lucas, much of the marelli electronics were spotty. still, a wonderful canvas to tinker on.
            the belt driven cams from the pantah on evolved nicely and are by now very well sorted, competing with the big four and triumph and winning on the world stage. the newest ones have more than half a dozen cpu’s monitoring all sorts of systems, too much tekmology for this guy. i think they zenithed with the last of the carbureted 1100 two valve monsters, but there are many to choose from. bevels and rubber band motors were manufactured concurrently from about the mid ’70’s to the early ’80’s. all belt motors are desmodromic valve heads, my old gts and some others are springers.
            you should swing a leg over a multistrada.

          3. 170 HP, V4 Granturismo engine, that Duck looks beautiful and they tout it as a long haul ride!

            The website says to “Put the headphones on and close your eyes, can you picture yourself in a wonderful trip on a Multisrtada V4?

            Never thought about it, where are those headphones………….

          4. true, they have recently put some v4 eggs in their basket. homologation so they can compete with the rest of the four bangers on the track.
            i’d suggest finding an older (only a few years) twin as in the real world that midrange to weight ratio is where they shine.
            traditionally the twins were allowed 1000cc against 750 fours. until the long straight opens up the twin jumps harder corner to corner.
            if you really want top end just get a new h2. the street version makes 200hp, the h2r (track) makes over 300. on the osman gazi bridge, kenan sofuoglu attained an unverified top speed of 250mph. there is a utoob vid.

  7. I went “hoe-ing” in the garden this morning. I put an edge on my hoe and those weeds never stood a chance!Picking “Sweet 100” cherry tomatoes every day. The “Mountain Merit” tomatoes are baseball size. They taste fine but they need to be deep red for their best flavor. Not many seeds . . . they are meaty and slice nice! I am getting my daily lycopene.

    On Saturday, I got a box of utility knives at a yard sale. Stanley 10-812; Stanley 10-989 and two (2) Craftsman lock-back folder w/rosewood-inlaid handle (One is MI-“Blister” pckg.) These were the keepers. The others were plastic handled crap-ola. The “Craftsman” are fancy . . . begs the question, “Why”? Get this, the trapezoid blades are stamped: Made in U.S.A.
    I like the “989” because it fits my BIG Mitt and is easy to find ’cause it’s yellow. I do not like the “hook hole” in its center . . . it hangs sideways on my pegboard. Maybe it’s not a “hook hole” . . . what the heck, I reckon I will Google it out of curiosity.
    “KISS” principle . . . Keep It Simple Stupid, . . . “Stanley 199” for 60 years!

    “Gamera” was awesome! The Japanese sure can conjure up a sci-fi creature. A flying, fire breathing turtle . . . Kids with a Quija board, “Oh No!”, . . . “Jumanji” anyone?

    “Ode to Billie Joe”,(1976). Song by Bobby Gentry (1967). Max Baer Jr. (aka “Jethro”), took a bold move portraying “Billie Joe” as gay in 1953. Worth jumping off a bridge? Hmm-mm-mm Jumping “Bobby Lee” (Glynnis O’Connor) may be the smarter move. Bobby Gentry was a hottie!

    Lastly, “Jarts”. Throw them straight up in the air and run like hell!

    Reply

  8. The Tallahatchie River really cracked me up, and Woody – “Everyone Look, an alien”. The lawn darts bring back some memories, we did use the real darts as well, remember sticking my brother in the arm and begging him not to tell! Was so tired or cutting my own switch as a kid.

    Reply

    1. I don’t ever recall anyone being injured with lawn darts. Only that shortly after they were pulled from store shelves our set was “lost”.
      Cutting your own switch is the worst.

      Reply

      1. It was a different world then Mark, you didn’t talk back in my house, but then again!

        I never did hear of anyone getting hurt with lawn darts either. At the same time we had BB and pellet guns so the darts were pretty tame in comparison.

        Reply

  9. The four musketeers all on deck! Yikes, and welcome aboard Mark.
    Isn’t it weird that we spend billions on Mars looking for traces of fossilized microbes, yet all along Uncle Sam has a hanger full of their birds and freezer full of corpses. Could have saved all that cash and shifted countless Sci-fi movies to be filed under Documentary genre.

    Reply

      1. Mark – if it was Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo would you still be as proud? Still steel guys, but way more shell

        Reply

          1. There is room for another, come on guys, lets try for a 5 way (knife draw speaking of course!)

  10. It’s Saturday morning and “Popeye & Pals” (MeTV) got me jazzed up for the “WOT”. Ms.Oyl is a fickle B _ _ _ _ . What in the H _ _ _ does Popeye see in that orb-headed matchstick?

    I am better now. Speaking of which, “OO” has got to be her bra size. I am a leg man and those broomsticks ain’t getting it for me . . . give me a gal like Betty Boop! Actually Popeye and Betty did hook up in the ’30s.

    Much better now.

    There isn’t any “ALF” in the “WOT” . . . I saw on TV that the cat-eating alien is returning.

    In the “Deliverance” photo, does it read R-to-L (American) or is it L-to-R (Chinese)? I would rather be “Burt” (“Lewis”) than “Ned” (“Bobby”) . . . just squealing.

    “Man-lift on a raft in a swimming pool” . . . How else you gonna change them bulbs?

    “Jabba Bag” . . . Ah-h-h, brings back the image of “Leia” with her gold cups!

    “Bye Bye F _ _ _ f _ _ _ !” . . . Babysitter should meet “The Reaper”. This was funny for a moment.

    Baltimore Orioles – 1; “Yankees”- 0. Thank you very much, “O’s” in 1st Place AL-East.

    Reply

  11. Another great lineup from the Meme-Master, thanks Clay!

    Good morning WOTers, just off to check out a few yard sales. The early bird gets the bargains!

    And then there were FOUR.

    Congrats Mark, this is really getting interesting!

    Have a great weekend everyone!

    Reply

    1. Way too many great memes this week for me to have a favorite! Thank you Clay for both the token and the great collection! Hocky-I’ve often wondered about Olive’s appeal. Never got it. Then again, I don’t recall another female character in those ‘toons…beggars/choosers?
      Why can we play Mumbly Peg but not Jarts? Those guys above the pool will fall further than Billy Joe. I’ve known 2 Billie Joes in my life. Neither could swim. Breaks over; back to the yard work while there’s still some diet sun!
      Have a great weekend all!

      Reply

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