Babylon Bee: Op-Ed – I Should Buy A Sword

I should buy a sword.

I feel it is my duty as a man to maintain in my possession a weapon resplendent with both a storied ancestry and a capacity to skewer the unassuming burglar.

Plus it would look sweet hanging on the wall next to my Super Mario Bros. poster.

The sword has played no small role in forging history for the better. Since its Bronze Age birth millenia past, it has impaled, chopped, and lopped its way through battles, revolutions, and rebellions in the coolest way possible, as well as create a lasting impact on modern culture. If the Star Wars Kid can achieve fame and fortune huffing and swinging a broom handle like a twin-blade Wakizashi Samurai Sword, then there is nothing stopping me from swinging my own balanced blade of razor-sharp folded steel in my back yard.

I should buy a trebuchet…

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