BabylonBee: Man Ready To Take On The World After Sliding Favorite Pocket Knife Into Jeans Pocket

H. Clay Aalders
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BOISE, ID — Though events taking place around him threatened to envelop him in uncertainty and stress, a local man reported that he was ready to take on the world after sliding his favorite pocket knife into his jeans pocket.

Virgil Lupascu said he was briefly troubled by what he read in the news this morning — with riots and threats against the government — but quickly felt completely at peace and prepared to set things right after he clipped his ACE Biblio XL Titanium Magnacut knife onto the edge of the right front pocket of his jeans.

“Yippie ki-yay, you turkeys,” Lupascu whispered to himself after slipping the EDC knife into place. “Doesn’t matter what gets in my way today. Not with my buddy, ACE, here. I’d like to see somebody try something. Just try it. I’m ready.”

We all know the feeling. Today I am carrying a Vosteed Corgi. How about you?

Side note: Pulling a GiantMouse model as your example is evidence that the writer is in fact a “knife guy”. That is a very niche company. Kudos.

Read the whole thing at BabylonBee.com

https://babylonbee.com/news/man-ready-to-take-on-the-world-after-sliding-favorite-pocket-knife-into-jeans-pocket

 

 

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H. Clay Aalders

H. Clay Aalders is a lifelong edged tool user. He spent the past 20 years as a woodworker and fishing guide in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Idaho, and Tennessee. While guiding in Idaho, Clay worked part-time writing for a local newspaper, and upon moving to Tennessee began writing for the blog The Truth About Knives - spending his last 5 years there as Managing Editor. His background is in fixed-blade hunting and bushcraft knives, but has jumped into the world of vintage slipjoint collecting with both feet since coming to work at Knife Magazine. Clay’s primary role is as Digital Editor, curating and creating new content for our website and blog, as well as maintaining the Knife Magazine social media accounts (FB/IG: @theknifemag, Twitter: @knifemagazine). He is also a contributor and Associate Editor of the print magazine.

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5 Responses

  1. The jacket that I usually wear outside from Fall through late February, maybe early March, has a ton of pockets. In late October I put a triple A powered OLite and my Gerber Artifact in one of them. They live there, ready to go, without me having to think about it. While out and about today my B’yond EDC Eurus-a WOT score a while back- was in my jeans front pocket. .

    Reply

    1. MarkR: We are kindred spirits! My thrift-store bought “Field & Stream” multi-pocket canvas field jacket “carries” my late autumn/winter gear. There’s an “Utica 10” Barlow; Anvil pruner for the dead limbs and twigs; By-pass pruner for the live wood; and, a few other “ready to go” items. Each spring, I turn all the pockets “inside out” to remove stuff that finds its way into them . . . birdseed, crumbly leaves, dirt et al. Hang the jacket on a hook. I got a surprise last December when I removed a bird’s nest from the coat and a mouse nest (?) from an inside pocket . . . critters got to stay warm, too!

      Reply

      1. Too funny! Where is that hook hanging? Outside shed?
        Weekends and yard work days I’ve got my stainless Opinel 9. I’ll grab whatever tools I need from the garage.

        Reply

        1. Yes, outside work shed. I have a small ceramic space heater that I run on “low” in sub-zero temps (. . . like now) near my metal locker stocked with “do not freeze” items. Birds and mice co-inhabit that area. I find the ability of mice to gnaw through plastics frustrating! I have a heavy duty “Rubbermaid” storage bin where I keep birdseed and suet cakes. A mouse chewed threw the plastic and set up “housekeeping”! I discovered this when I opened the lid . . . Out popped this fat mouse who was too big to exit through his original “door”.

          Reply

  2. Currently, I am at home attired in my “in the house” wear. Three knives on me: Victorinox “Classic”; Kershaw OD-1 (original from 20+ years ago); and, my custom “Steve Nuckels” fixed blade (2-in. “sawmill” blade: OAL-5 in.; curly maple handle; basswood-lined leather sheath) which “Steve” gave me on my birthday a few years back.
    When I go outside later, my usual EDC’s have me prepared for those tasks that present themselves. I do not venture into situations that may pose a risk to my well-being; therefore, I seldom, if ever carry a knife for defensive purposes. I do have a stout 58-inch quarter staff . . . keeps predators and undesirables at a distance. I call it “Lil John”.

    Reply

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