One of my favorite classic Onion stories, “F*ck Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades,” has a fictional Gillette CEO hyping a major jump up from the Mach3, which, some 20 years ago, seemed comically insane.
But not unlike Mike Judge’s criminally underrated 2006 flick Idiocracy, the piece turned out to be prophetic, as five-bladed razors are now basically de rigueur.
Along similar lines, I imagine a pocket knife deploying not one, not two, not three, not four but five different ways also felt pretty far-fetched around that time.
Lo and behold, here in 2026 that has also now come to pass, thanks to the new Vosteed Zander, which just so happens to look and function great as well.
I missed my buddy Yue at Blade Show. He was stuck at home due to a family emergency, which thankfully seems to have worked out ok.